april fool's

so as well all know, yesterday was april fool's day.
as i was coming home from work, i realized i couldn't let the only day that i'm legally bound to lie slip.

me: mom, i have something to tell you
mom: what is it?
me: i got fired
mom: oh, i so knew it! you're always late to your work and you probably were slacking off at work, too! so what now, hmm?! you can't even keep a job for more than 2 months?! what are you doing with your life?! when are you gonna grow up?! do you even know why you got fired?! 'cause you need to learn...
me: yeah, i know. 'cause today is april 1st, mom. that's why i got fired.
mom: (contiuing her sentence in a very soft tone) ... from your... oh wait.
me: yes?
mom: (chuckling in guilt) oh so you didn't...
me: no, i didn't get fired
mom: oh, i see. ummm... did you eat yet?
me: no
mom: you want some fish i'm cooking?
me: you know how much i hate fish
mom: ...
me: ...
mom: ...
me: and for the record, i was late for work once. what do you mean i'm always late for work? you're not even up when i leave for work
mom: well you...
me: and my boss says he likes my work ethics
mom: ...
me: ...
mom: ...

as i was having seaweed, kimchi, left-over sauce from bbq chicken that my brother devoured on, and a big sea bass (that i hated) for dinner, my dad returned home. continuing in my april fool's day spirit, i told both my brother and mother to keep quiet.

dad: oh you're home early today
me: yeah. dad?
dad: hmm?
me: i got fired.
dad: ... fired as in...
me: ... fired as in i no longer work at the office starting next week
dad: oh... (with an evil smile on his face) i knew this was gonna happen. why'd they fire you? did you screw up?
me: no, i think it's because today is april 1st.
dad: (looking completely lost and confused) ... yeah today IS april 1st.
me: ...
dad: ...
me: ...
dad: so what? what does today's date have to do with anything?

at this point, my brother and i were exchanging some serious "jesus christ, he so doesn't get it" looks and my mother was shaking her head.

me: okay, he fails
dad: what? what did i do? i don't get it
mom: honey, what's the date today?
dad: april 1st?!
mom: okay. now, think about that for a minute. april 1st.
dad: oh... (with a hint of sudden realization on his face) oh!!
me: yeah, he fails. epic fail.
dad: so you didn't...
me: no, dad.
dad: ...
me: ...
dad: ...
me: ...
dad: (in all seriousness possible) did you know that "i got fired" was voted as number 1 worst joke for april fool's day? why would you tell such a negative lie? why couldn't you lie about something positive? like winning the lottery, or getting a bonus from work?
me: oh, great. so now i get condemned for lying on april fool's day.
dad: no, i'm not condemning you. i'm just saying, grow up a little and tell a lie that everyone can laugh at.
me: goddammit, dad! please!
dad: what? i'm just saying...
mom: (abruptly interrupting) oh honey, he's just trying to have fun
dad: yeah, i know, but...

so there you go. that's my april fool's day story.
to my parents, apparently, i'm a lazy, immature asshole who's always late for work, doesn't try hard enough, doesn't really know what to lie about, and most importantly, is dearly loved.

FML.