Hi Chuck

October 30th, 1999.
That's the date that changed my world entirely.

When I was 14, my parents decided to immigrate to U.S. after seeing me continuously fail to fit into Korean middle school.
I was not doing too well academically, according to their standards. Somehow, I was supposed to be the best of my class, but I wasn't.

No one in my family knew what to expect. I surely as hell didn't know what I was about to face.
My mother thought that I would pick up English real fast and become completely Americanized in less than a year.
That could easily have been the case if I was 4. They say it's harder to pick up a new language and a new culture as you grow older.
Some even say it gets exponentially harder after 12. So being a 14-year-old semi-kid certainly didn't help.

I don't even know how many fights I had with my then-ignorant mother on this subject.
I hated her for saying "how come you can't speak English like your friends and you've already been here for 8 months?"
I didn't want to go to school because I couldn't even order food during lunch.
I learned to say "cheeseburger" after a month of attending, which apparently still didn't sound anything like "cheeseburger."
How do I know? Well, this kid at the cafeteria register always called me "chi-buh-guh" whenever I approached him. That's how.
At one point, I thought I was a linguistically challenged, irreparable fucktard.

I used to watch Pokemon all the time and that's how I picked up the language.
I would stand in front of my mirror, trying to sound like Ash, yelling "Pikachu! I choose you!"
One day, I came home from school and started watching Pokemon just like I would any other day.
Then, one commercial during break caught my eyes; it was a commercial for Chuck E. Cheese.
I was simply mesmerized. To me, that was the epitome of life of an average American kid.
That was where I wanted to be: I wanted to enjoy their pizza while playing games with my friends, conversing in English.
I didn't want to be that awkward Asian kid who didn't speak English anymore.
I wanted to have fun and enjoy my time like the kids in the commercial.
I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be normal.

When the commercial was over, so was my daydream.
I was picturing how I would spend my time there, but soon I realized I had no one to go with.
I was imagining what their pizza would taste like, but soon I realized I couldn't even order a fucking cheeseburger.
I turned the T.V. off and went to my room.
Then I started crying because I realized what I was: pathetic and helpless, awkward and lonely, retarded and challenged.

After some thoughts, I shyly and cautiously asked my dad if he could take me there.
He shut me down completely. He responded to my request by throwing me a vocabulary book and telling me to spend more time studying English.
I quickly gave up and Chuck E. Cheese just became a very very far-fetched dream for me.

It's been more than 10 years since that day, and last week, I finally was able to fulfill my childhood dream.
To tell you the truth, the place was boring. I mean, hell, it is a place for kids, not for a 25-year-old man.
Nevertheless, I was super excited. I was there for maybe good two hours, but that was more than enough for me.
I was 14 again. The awkward Asian kid 10 years ago who spoke no English and had no friends was finally happy for once.
As I was entering, I felt my blood rushing to my brain. My heart was about to dislocate itself and I couldn't even make a sound.
I was happy. Very happy.

I played almost all the games they had, and they were, for some reason, the most awesome games I have ever played in my life.
Only regret I have right now is that I didn't get to enjoy their pizza 'cause I went there after lunch.

I'm sure I will have more memorable experiences later in my life. Big promotion, album release, wedding, my first born, and so many other events will shine a bright light on my life.
But I will never ever forget my day at Chuck E. Cheese, for reminding me of I went through and how I became who I am today.


Thanks, Chuck

new hat for myself

so i stumbled upon this website called cafepress.com
here you can either purchase other designer's clothings or custom make your own
i decided to have fun with it and made my new trucker hat

babbler music. yup.

repping my blog, repping my music. yeah.
i'm gonna be posting a lot of new materials starting next month
i wish i could make a dedicated section for my music on this blog
anybody know how to do that? that'd be very wonderful

anyway, me and David (aka D-Day or whatever he prefers to be called)
have been running good recording sessions at Clear Lake Audio up in North Hollywood
two songs will be finished under the name of UNI-K, featuring Arden Cho on one of them

i'll try to keep you guys posted more often with my boring yet hectic life

epic fail

i was looking for translation jobs through craigslist and this is what i found
it's good to know that my competition is incompetent



original posting:
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/wet/1695161512.html

i need more money :(

april fool's

so as well all know, yesterday was april fool's day.
as i was coming home from work, i realized i couldn't let the only day that i'm legally bound to lie slip.

me: mom, i have something to tell you
mom: what is it?
me: i got fired
mom: oh, i so knew it! you're always late to your work and you probably were slacking off at work, too! so what now, hmm?! you can't even keep a job for more than 2 months?! what are you doing with your life?! when are you gonna grow up?! do you even know why you got fired?! 'cause you need to learn...
me: yeah, i know. 'cause today is april 1st, mom. that's why i got fired.
mom: (contiuing her sentence in a very soft tone) ... from your... oh wait.
me: yes?
mom: (chuckling in guilt) oh so you didn't...
me: no, i didn't get fired
mom: oh, i see. ummm... did you eat yet?
me: no
mom: you want some fish i'm cooking?
me: you know how much i hate fish
mom: ...
me: ...
mom: ...
me: and for the record, i was late for work once. what do you mean i'm always late for work? you're not even up when i leave for work
mom: well you...
me: and my boss says he likes my work ethics
mom: ...
me: ...
mom: ...

as i was having seaweed, kimchi, left-over sauce from bbq chicken that my brother devoured on, and a big sea bass (that i hated) for dinner, my dad returned home. continuing in my april fool's day spirit, i told both my brother and mother to keep quiet.

dad: oh you're home early today
me: yeah. dad?
dad: hmm?
me: i got fired.
dad: ... fired as in...
me: ... fired as in i no longer work at the office starting next week
dad: oh... (with an evil smile on his face) i knew this was gonna happen. why'd they fire you? did you screw up?
me: no, i think it's because today is april 1st.
dad: (looking completely lost and confused) ... yeah today IS april 1st.
me: ...
dad: ...
me: ...
dad: so what? what does today's date have to do with anything?

at this point, my brother and i were exchanging some serious "jesus christ, he so doesn't get it" looks and my mother was shaking her head.

me: okay, he fails
dad: what? what did i do? i don't get it
mom: honey, what's the date today?
dad: april 1st?!
mom: okay. now, think about that for a minute. april 1st.
dad: oh... (with a hint of sudden realization on his face) oh!!
me: yeah, he fails. epic fail.
dad: so you didn't...
me: no, dad.
dad: ...
me: ...
dad: ...
me: ...
dad: (in all seriousness possible) did you know that "i got fired" was voted as number 1 worst joke for april fool's day? why would you tell such a negative lie? why couldn't you lie about something positive? like winning the lottery, or getting a bonus from work?
me: oh, great. so now i get condemned for lying on april fool's day.
dad: no, i'm not condemning you. i'm just saying, grow up a little and tell a lie that everyone can laugh at.
me: goddammit, dad! please!
dad: what? i'm just saying...
mom: (abruptly interrupting) oh honey, he's just trying to have fun
dad: yeah, i know, but...

so there you go. that's my april fool's day story.
to my parents, apparently, i'm a lazy, immature asshole who's always late for work, doesn't try hard enough, doesn't really know what to lie about, and most importantly, is dearly loved.

FML.

let's go to haiti for a tour

past few weeks have been crazy for me and i'm completely sleep-deprived.
in midst of all this, i have discovered a new information about
this crazy drug called christianity that my parents and my peers so deerly believe in

well here's the news:
apparently, korean churches in orange county decided to raise funds for haiti earthquake relief
they have managed to secure $131,060, all in the name of donation for haiti
(if you can read korean, here's the link to the article: http://www.koreatimes.com/article/584615)
that's great. in fact, holy shit, that's wonderful.
i mean, given the economic situations in this country and how everyone is struggling just to live,
being able to collect donations totalling up to about $130,000 shows some love

but here comes the punch line: that money hasn't even been sent to haiti yet
of this money, $38,792 was spent on sending pastors to haiti for a visit
really now, what the fuck?
they were there for 5 days. 5 days. 5 mo-ther-fuck-ing days.
o yeah, i'm sure they were there to pray for the dead and heal the wounded, you know, the good old church routine
because apparently these guys thought they could be more effective than
people removing debris with bare hands to save another life but helplessly crying because all they found was a body of a little girl
where the fuck did you think your pseudo-messiah bullshit preaching
in conjunction with meaningless, worthless prayers would fit?
if you really wanted to help, all you needed was a plane ticket to haiti and a pair of gloves
don't be spending 40 grand on your personal pleasures, you sick bastards.
i can't believe the money given to these guys was used to feed their spiritual high and psychologically impaired self-justification
i seriously wonder if they really thought that this was the right thing to do
'cause if that were the case, i no longer see hope in them
if you think visiting haiti for no apparent reason were part of god's almighty plan to show the love for the mankind
then you are either inexplicably retarded or mentally damaged to the point where a bullet in your head would be the only cure.

o by the way, the reason why they stil haven't sent the remaining 100 grand is that these pastors are arguing about
whether they should build a mission center in haiti with this money or use it towards haiti relief, like building tents for the affected
ask your 7-year-olds. they can give you the right answer to this question in 3 seconds
i seriously hope my dad isn't involved with any of the groups mentioned in that news article.

you tell me i should look past the people within the religion
you tell me that we are all human and we are prone to make mistakes
o, please
your god is weeping because of you dumbasses
do something good. i beg you.

march madness

last post i wrote on this blog was in february
so i thought i needed to write another post

today around 4 a.m., i woke up to a very violent shaking
at first i thought it was my mother
but then, it wasn't long after when i realized it was an earthquake
my computer speakers emit this neon blue light to indicate that they are on
so you'd understand how a bit freaky it could be:
4 in the morning, violent shake, dancing neon blue light in the dark... yeah, fun

so i stayed up a little bit 'til 6
my mother, for some damn reason, decided to wake up early and came to my room
she saw me sitting in front of my computer and started yelling, like a good korean mother always would

mom: why are you still up?
me: what do you mean? i was sleeping but then i woke up to that earthquake earlier
mom: what earthquake?
me: uhhh the one that just happened like an hour ago?
mom: i didn't feel anything. neither did your dad
me: but there was an earth...
mom: how many times did i tell you to go to sleep early?
me: what? i went to...
mom: stop giving me excuses! you and your stupid tv shows that you always watch! do something productive!
me: i'm editing the new song me and david just recorded!
mom: oh please. i know you switch screens every time i walk into your room
me: what? switch what screens? i don't switch screens
mom: yes, you do
me: no, i don't
mom: yes, you do
me: i don't!
mom: you do
me: ...
mom: ...
me: ...
mom: earthquake, such nonsense (shakes her head)
me: why the hell would i lie about an earthquake?! what good does that do?
mom: just go to sleep. remember, i'm not gonna wake you up if you don't go to sleep early
me: uhhh when was the last time you woke me up for my work?
mom: i always do
me: no, you don't
mom: yes, i do
me: jesus christ, get out, please
mom: (shuts the door behind her as she exists)

as you can tell, my family is very loving and caring
and my mother loves me so dearly that she doesn't believe a word coming out of my mouth

it just hit me
my dog was barking all night
maybe she was responding to the earthquake
smart dog

this is what happens when you make one of the greatest bands to mime

now why the hell would you wanna see the band that always gives
one of the best fucking live performances in the world miming?

that's just plain dumb and disrespectful



this what they do when you tell them to mime.


and this is what they do when you let them play.

i see the future

Nine Inch Nails has a great song called "Every Day Is Exactly the Same"
whenever i listen to that song, these parts always hit me real hard

"I believe I can see the future
'Cause I repeat the same routine..."

"...I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end..."

why?
because i do repeat the same routine that i did yesterday
i just found myself restlessly staring at my computer screen, again,
doing absolutely un-fucking-productive shit
i already know what tomorrow is gonna be like
i know that feeling - it almost feels like i have the power to foresee the future
but in reality, i'm just becoming more dead,
becoming more unaware of the sense of self,
and becoming more absorbed, more assimilated

getting caught up in a routine, however, is a great way to preserve
i've lost you, and i'm starting to lose my way back to you
it's driving me crazy because everything is still too vivid
from the moment i open my eyes to the moment i close them,
i still see you. hear you. and feel you.

tomorrow, i wake up
i'm still gonna repeat the same routine.

i don't have a choice

i hope you do

funny commercial

just watch it til the end.
you will have a smile on your face.

got a job!

woot!

finally, i got a job
it's a cell-phone making company in cerritos

i was all excited and happy
so i decided to share the news with my mom

me: mom, i got a job
mom: what? where?
me: remember? i told you i was at a job interview today
mom: what kind of company is it?
me: it's some sort of cell phone company
mom: what? cell phone? you doing cell phone sales?
me: umm... well they said i'd be either doing sales or accounting
mom: accounting? how are you gonna do accounting?
me: i don't know. they said they'd train me
mom: you sure it's a legit company?
me: uhhh... i suppose?
mom: what do you mean you suppose? how big was the office?
me: fairly big...?
mom: and you said it was in cerritos? that's far
me: uhhh about 3 months ago, you wanted me to go work at some game company in torrance and that's an hour away
mom: ...
me: well i finally have a real job!
mom: what's your salary?
me: i don't know. they asked me how much i wanted and i said however much an unexperienced newbie gets, which i said was about $2,000 a month
mom: what? only $2,000? you should've said at least $2,500
me: ...
mom: ...
me: well at least i'm hired
mom: okay, okay. congratulations.

someone obviously was very happy for me, as you could see

so i'm gonna be busy starting next monday
let's see how this one turns out

San Diego Part II

another song i worked on last night
made it so that it goes with the previous song i posted, "San Diego"
hence the name, San Diego Part II
hope you like it

for those of you who are curious about what the hell i'm saying:

San Diego Part II

Standing here outside your doors with flowers in my hand
Waiting for you to come so I could say hello again
I've been here so many times but I don't feel the same
I'm not even sure if I could loudly call your name again

Can't remember anything that I was gonna say
In my head I was hoping that you'd ask me to stay
You're just as beautiful as anyone could be
And it hurts, it hurts me to see

So thank you
For the memories you made for me
For the love that made me feel alive
And I'm sorry that I've let you down
I wish I could turn everything around

We were there on the floor next to each other
I was wishing I could make this night last forever
I can't help but thinking that you are still all mine
But nothing can change your mind

Come back to me

2010

10 years ago, the entire planet went crazy about
the biggest bullshit in the history - Y2K
i can't really remember what exactly it was,
but it had something to do with computers not being able to
recognize the fact that we will be in 2000s, not 1900s
well, as we all know, it was a total bull-to-the-shit

anyway, 10 years later
i'm sitting in front of my intel quad-core computer,
which features dual screens and a midi keyboard,
mixing and mastering new tracks
guess time really flies fast, hmm?

this is what it looks like

what a great way to start a new year
it's 8:33 in the morning,
but i'm high on caffeine and nicotine
which means i'm totally fucking out of it

well, at least my first blog of 2010 is here
that's something, i guess